"Stop slowly killing the planet-before it kills us." At least, that's what people are repeatedly saying. But it's not right for anyone to say this without a complete understanding of the issue, even if they seem possessed. There are too few people telling us of the planet's actual revenge plot. Too few people are looking at the facts. Most people will be sure to offer some helpful notes about the changing Earth. Most people will say something about carbon dioxide warming the Earth, et cetera, et cetera. However, this statement is vague. Obviously, the amount of carbon in the atmosphere is rising and there is something to blame. But if you look closely, you'll see how this is (conveniently) happening as the human population grows! Where most people stray from the truth is from a bias towards wanting to be human. They say that we are causing the carbon emissions. However, that's simply untrue: we are carbon. The dinosaurs must have done destruction to their world. They must have disrupted a balance with their massive existence. They must have uprooted a lot of trees. The universe likes trees. All the biggest dinosaurs died. Yet all we do is rearrange this world. We messed up a balance-a balance restored after the dinosaurs were killed off. We might all be uprooted from this life anytime now, just as the dinosaurs were. Despite this, hope isn't lost for the human race. If we're good the planet might now have to hire a hitman, but we can talk about planetary conspiracies another time. How to be good? We should turn into trees. Trees were around with the dinosaurs, trees were around with everything thereafter. We exist with trees, but what if they were our existence? If carbon emissions are the problem, how can we live as humans? The planet's saying we won't-for much longer. If we all turn into trees, the global climate disaster will be fixed. Instead of restoring forests, think more: become the forest. It's not complicated: humans bad, trees good. Ultimately, that's why we all must turn into trees. Or, at the very least, a radish. On another note... I hope this gets printed on some nice paper.